There are many reasons I hate public transit. Below is one of the many reasons.
This is a real email I sent to a group of friends after we parted ways for the evening:
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Hello Ladies -
I think you all should know that I just got picked up by a Buddhist 46 year old fatso whack job on the subway, wearing a fedora with lovely sweat coming down the sides. I know he was 46 because a) he said he was not a pedophile because he has a niece who is 22 and b) she was born when he was 24.
He thus proceeded to tell me about his half korean nephews (one questioned why the other was yellow), his english mother (proof being she’s english because she comes up as Momsie on his blackberry – she’s 81 btw and he sets reminders to call her).
He also thought it necessary to question my attire: “What are you wearing? Is it like a workout outfit – there’s pink, white, black leotards, I’m just very confused.”
Also – he’s a fan of Star Trek and Klingon books and how they were supposed to be more evil than they were in tv, and he is also into Japanese literature – he did, however, tell me that I don’t need to learn Japanese because he only knows one word.
I am so over public transit – but if any of you are interested, Darcy lives at Lawrence West Subway – a very painful distance from St George. He told me that he talked to me because I was pretty, so I’m sure he’d talk to all of you!
Otherwise thank you all for a charming evening! I hope to be able to do it all again, minus the creepo!!!
Talk to you all soon!
- laur
